Worst Celebrity Diets

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Celebrities are no strangers to stupid diets. Some, if not all, the fad or crash diets we hear about today are popularized by your favorite stars trying to get in shape for their next role and the celebrity trainers that are trying to make a quick buck by slapping a catchy name on their eating disorder.

In this article, I will discuss some of the worst celebrity diets out there and why they are terrible…as if it isn’t already obvious by looking at the name. But first, some more gems from celebrity trainer con-artist, Tracy Anderson:

On trying to become a ballet dancer:

“I tried everything short of an eating disorder – which I really wanted to have, actually.”

On women and weight lifting:

“No woman should lift more than 3lbs.”

On strength training:


“I don’t want to cause the kind of strength building where it creates microfiber tears in the muscles and repairs which creates mass”

Thank you, Tracy. That is the kind of personal trainer I want, someone whose mission statement is making sure clients see zero results. Now on to some of the worst diets being endorsed nowadays…

1. The Baby Food Diet

What it is: Eating limited servings of baby food every day, followed by a “healthy” dinner. 

Why it’s stupid: Unless you’re 1 foot tall with drool on your bib, this will not satisfy your hunger cravings. With the average jar being 50 calories, 14 jars would only equal the same number of calories as half a bite of my morning meal.

2. The Drunk Diet

What it is: Replacing food with alcohol, exercising daily–even if hungover.

Why it’s stupid: According to Lady Gaga’s friend, the diet is designed so you take shots and shots until you are wasted, wake up at 5 A.M. for cheeseburgers, then run or cycle long distances, EVERYDAY. Actually, I am sure a few LBEB fan follow this diet, minus the cardio part.

3. The Maple Syrup Diet

What it is: Consuming nothing, but a mixture of maple syrup, lemon juice and cayenne pepper for 2 weeks.

Why it’s stupid: Pretty much what it sounds like, a diet that is too ridiculous to fathom. It uses the popular taglines of “cleansing” and “detoxify”. Here is a pro and con list from their website:

PRO

  • Users claim the lemon/maple syrup mixture is pleasant tasting
  • Weight loss is immediate as the user loses pounds of retained fecal material
  • Euphoria and other feelings of serenity are an added bonus as the person becomes almost yogi like in their fasting state

CON

  • Cannot leave the house for up to three days as user rushes to the bathroom for frequent bowel movements
  • No food intake of any kind other than maple syrup mixture means participant will likely develop intense food cravings, making it difficult if there are other people in the home eating solid foods
  • As you detoxify body, intense fatigue and mood swings are reported as “normal” by most users of the Maple Syrup Diet
  • Very low calorie intake, about 500/day

Do you see the problem here?


4. The Sundowner Diet

What it is: No eating after 6pm, started by Oprah.

Why it’s stupid: I think the mentality behind this diet is that late night snacks tend to be crap food, but that means the problem is not in the time of day, but in the quality of food you are eating. This diet is based on speculations that if you eat at night, it will make you fat. There is simply no basis in science for this claim. If you have a caloric requirement, it won’t matter what time of the day you get it in, not to mention that the thermic effect of food will be no different. 

5. The Cookie Diet

What it is: Replacing two meals with two cookies each to stay under 800 calories a day.

Why it’s stupid: This diet claims to help those with slow thyroid issues, by replacing two meals with large cookies and for a dinner eating 6oz of meat with 1 cup of vegetables, totaling less than 800 calories. What’s not mentioned publicly is that most of the people on the cookie diet are given appetite suppression pills, and about 25% are prescribed thyroid hormones. Shady.

6. The Ice Cube Diet

What it is: Exercising, low-carb diet, plus healthy snacks throughout the day…of ice cubes.

Why it’s stupid: Claimed to contain 97% Hoodia, a rare plant from Africa that is claimed to help suppress the appetite. I see two problems with this claim. The first is: Hoodia is an endangered plant protected by strict environmental laws, how are they able to produce mass quantities of it for ice cubes? Second, there have been no studies showing Hoodia is successful at suppressing appetite, or its effect on the body.

Plus, it’s a diet of f*cking ice cubes.

Rant over. Eat real food, and lots of it.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/05151554622800534545 Joseph V. Arias

    So you’re saying my diet of ice cubes maple syrup, cookies, alcohol and exercise with 1 lb dumbbells isn’t perfect? I hope you’re happy because you just lost a fan . Haha

  • Talia

    Ditto.

  • Todd

    Dont forget the “HCG Diet”

  • Karine

    “14 jars would only equal the same number of calories as half a bite of my morning meal.” Hahahaha- Best line ever. Thanks for the great read.

  • http://www.blogger.com/profile/10137785239829508159 Ana Berg

    This is true. Drunk diet are enticing but not recommended for the dieting woman. Healthy fruit juices are the way to go. hoodia prices

  • Anonymous

    I lift heavy things and eat a shitload of meat and green veggies.
    Truth be told I’m a really bad “paleo”. I eat insane huge portions.

    …and I lost just under 90 lbs of fat in a year.
    Fucking celebs are retarded.

  • Anonymous

    James “OPT” FitzGerald uses the maple syrup cleanse with his clients all the time. Shocking.

  • Anonymous

    I’m surprised Visalus was not listed. I have people left and right trying to push that sh!t on me.

  • http://foodbyjames.wordpress.com/ foodbyjames

    I’ve tried baby food post workout a few times, its pretty nice for on-the-go. It does, however, take about six pouches to hit my macros. organic sweet potato and banana are my go-to