Celebrities are no strangers to stupid diets. Some, if not all, of the fad or crash diets we hear about today, are popularized by your favorite stars trying to get in shape for their next role and the celebrity trainers that are trying to make a quick buck by slapping a catchy name on their eating disorder.
Originally written by Brandon Morrison
In this article, I will discuss some of the worst celebrity diets out there and why they are terrible…as if it isn’t already obvious by looking at the name. But first, some more gems from celebrity trainer con-artist, Tracy Anderson.
On trying to become a ballet dancer:
“I tried everything short of an eating disorder – which I really wanted to have, actually.”
On women and weight lifting:
“No woman should lift more than 3lbs.”
On strength training:
“I don’t want to cause the kind of strength-building where it creates microfiber tears in the muscles and repairs which creates mass”
Thank you, Tracy. That is the kind of personal trainer I want, someone whose mission statement is making sure clients see zero results. Now on to some of the worst diets being endorsed nowadays.
The Baby Food Diet
What it is: Eating limited servings of baby food every day, followed by a “healthy” dinner.
Why it’s stupid: Unless you’re 1 foot tall with drool on your bib, this will not satisfy your hunger cravings. With the average jar being 50 calories, 14 jars would only equal the same number of calories as half a bite of my morning meal.
The Drunk Diet
What it is: Replacing food with alcohol, exercising daily–even if hungover.
Why it’s stupid: According to Lady Gaga’s friend, the diet is designed so you take shots and shots until you are wasted, wake up at 5 A.M. for cheeseburgers, then run or cycle long distances, EVERYDAY. Actually, I am sure a few LBEB fans follow this diet, minus the cardio part.
The Maple Syrup Diet
What it is: Consuming nothing, but a mixture of maple syrup, lemon juice, and cayenne pepper for 2 weeks.
Why it’s stupid: Pretty much what it sounds like, a diet that is too ridiculous to fathom. It uses the popular taglines of “cleansing” and “detoxify”. Here is a pro and con list from their website:
- Users claim the lemon/maple syrup mixture is pleasant tasting
- Weight loss is immediate as the user loses pounds of retained fecal material
- Euphoria and other feelings of serenity are an added bonus as the person becomes almost yogi like in their fasting state
- Cannot leave the house for up to three days as user rushes to the bathroom for frequent bowel movements
- No food intake of any kind other than maple syrup mixture means participant will likely develop intense food cravings, making it difficult if there are other people in the home eating solid foods
- As you detoxify body, intense fatigue and mood swings are reported as “normal” by most users of the Maple Syrup Diet
- Very low calorie intake, about 500/day
- Do you see the problem here?
The Sundowner Diet
What it is: No eating after 6 pm, started by Oprah.
Why it’s stupid: I think the mentality behind this diet is that late-night snacks tend to be crap food, but that means the problem is not in the time of day, but in the quality of food you are eating.
This diet is based on speculations that if you eat at night, you will gain weight. There is simply no basis in science for this claim. If you have a caloric requirement, it won’t matter what time of the day you get it in, not to mention that the thermic effect of food will be no different.
The Cookie Diet
What it is: Replacing two meals with two cookies each to stay under 800 calories a day.
Why it’s stupid: This diet claims to help those with slow thyroid issues, by replacing two meals with large cookies and for a dinner eating 6oz of meat with 1 cup of vegetables, totaling less than 800 calories.
What’s not mentioned publicly is that most of the people on the cookie diet are given appetite suppression pills, and about 25% are prescribed thyroid hormones. Shady.
The Ice Cube Diet
What it is: Exercising, low-carb diet, plus healthy snacks throughout the day…of ice cubes.
Why it’s stupid: Claimed to contain 97% Hoodia, a rare plant from Africa that is claimed to help suppress the appetite. I see two problems with this claim.
The first is: Hoodia is an endangered plant protected by strict environmental laws, how are they able to produce mass quantities of it for ice cubes? Second, there have been no studies showing Hoodia is successful at suppressing appetite, or its effect on the body.
Plus, it’s a diet of f*cking ice cubes.
Rant over. Eat real food, and lots of it.